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First Love
that day noisy in the phone
booth the trucks on the expressway
I called you I did every day
wanted to needed to feel
complete my stunted mind
crippled with immaturity
a bad excuse for my narcissism you knew that
you loved me anyway
what others had to confront
you did when they told you
it was leukemia
gift gift gift wonder
daffodils rich gold yellow the sun
those snappy expectant April mornings
when we can’t conceive of anything
going wrong you took my hand once see
look at this one it unfolds like we do
remember I remember
every spring your expression flushed
you taught me sometimes we’d pull
off the road in the bushes
front seat back seat against the car
the rest of the world abandoned
sleep we shared afterward in bed so many beds
on the floor try to understand you said what’s
happening it’s all right no please I
begged you can’t go how can I live I did
you didn’t every spring I kneel next to one
particular daffodil I say your name today again
I don’t know what to do about the daffodil
Donald Everett Axinn
From Change as a Curved Equation
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